January 5th, 2009 / No Comments » / by Grundy
Ever go to a wine tasting? The process goes something like this: A gulp worth of Wine Brand A is inhaled, swished, tasted, and (depending on your gentleman to alcoholic ratio) either spit or swallowed. Repeat for Wine Brand B. Don’t worry, this isn’t the beginnings of Grundy’s Wino Blog, this is a metaphor in the making.
Before moving on to the next label, a palette cleanser is used to neutralize the taste of the previous. It is a fresh start. The flavor of the merlot from the vineyards of Nowheresville, Oklahoma should not carry over to the aged French wines that you can’t afford. The need to get that “bad taste” out of your metaphorical mouth comes up in poker as well. A vanilla wafer will do you no good here, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find our own palette cleanser.
As I’m sure you know by now, a bad beat can spiral into a vicious cycle of consecutive bad sessions. Like I said in the past, no one is immune to the tilt. Some deal with it better than others, some internalize, but all ask “why me?” When I reach my bad luck limit, my game goes slowly out the window. This leads to more money lost wich leads to an increase in speed of said game going out the window. Exponents are involved, I don’t know the exact formula.
Ah, those were the days, and by “the” I mean expensive. Things have changed now. I never fall prey to the cycle anymore because I cleanse my poker palette. I go focus on a video game, watch a movie, play with my cats, or talk to a friend. I recommend something non-stressful, so I wouldn’t jump into doing paperwork or you might go into detail about how much you hate donkeys in a client’s e-mail. Also, if your game in on-line, take your break away from the computer. Remove yourself from the scene of the crime completely. There isn’t a set amount of time you need to relax, just long enough that your loss is lost from you mind.
Obviously, if you are in a tournament, you need to push forward until the finale. In the process, you may regain your footing. The best cure for a bad beat is to get lucky on someone else, or so I hear. However, if you never recover, don’t jump into the next tourney available to avenge your financial demise. A clean palette is a profitable palette.
Posted in: Uncategorized
Tags: palette cleanser, poker, wine
December 31st, 2008 / 1 Comment » / by Grundy
Happy New Years, poker people! Hope you all have had a very fun and/or profitable year, I know I have. Hell’s Cold Day is still going strong a year and a quarter later and I still have more wisdom and wise cracks for 2009. For now, I leave you with this years best posts according to PostRank!
Many happy returns and don’t forget your old acquaintance,
Grundy.
Posted in: Uncategorized
Tags: best posts, new years, poker, round-up
December 29th, 2008 / 13 Comments » / by Grundy
Women.
I don’t usually take the time to respond to wayward posts from misinformed bloggers, but a certain Mrs. Goodson of TourneyBlog fame posted such an extremely sexist article on her personal blog “Mama Loves Poker” that I have to rebut. And, man, do I hate rebutting.
She goes on to say how women are better poker players, citing qualities such as intuition and the ability to multitask. Intuition is just guessing with a feminine spin on it. Men use skills such as deduction and reason and deductive reasoning to come to our conclusions in both life and poker. Guessing is a tactic of the clueless. And the idea that women are better multitaskers is both a sweeping generalization and a complete falsehood. If the underlying point being made here is that women are too scatter brained to focus on the game, than I tend to agree. Not to mention their inability to process emotions. It’s a wonder they aren’t constantly on tilt.
I have been accused of stereotyping women. “Women are lousy poker players.” “Woman can’t drive.” Yes, those are stereotypes. Stereotypes were created because they are USUALLY true. Not always, but usually. Black people USUALLY like fried chicken. I would argue that anyone who is not a vegetarian likes chicken and that frying any food makes it better tasting. So everyone USUALLY likes fried chicken.
But I digress.
Mrs. Goodson also mentioned that good looks give women an advantage at the poker table. This may be true with the stakes she usually plays, but the high rollers USUALLY put a higher value on cash than eye candy. Besides, MOST ladies who are into cards aren’t perfect 10s anywho.
So clearly Mrs. Goodson is a blatant sexist who should really know better. I mean, her name is Goodson! Not Gooddaughter!
Posted in: Rants & Ravings
Tags: poker, woman, women
December 23rd, 2008 / No Comments » / by Grundy
When I’m sitting at the table not playing at my standard or better, I quit. If I’m losing in races or I fall victim to bad beats, or even if I make one or two mistakes, I usually stay the course. It is when I’m bleeding chips, tired, on tilt, distracted, or just not “feeling it” that I quit. And quit I should.
I’m talking about quitting for the day or even the week. I’m talking about quitting on the micro-scale. But what about the macro?
I’m assuming that you have been playing poker for a while. The year’s end is upon us and we should take t his time to reflect on our performance. Are you up? If you are in the green that is an excellent indicator of performance, and you can only truly know if you are up if you have taken my previous advice and made note of your sessions. Green = you are, at the very least, a better than average poker player. Profitability paired with your enjoyment of playing relative to the time you invest in some equation only you can create sums up whether or not you should continue playing poker.
That said, you can be unprofitable and enjoy the game enough to justify your play. Although I would ask from where your enjoyment comes. For example: I love the game in the same way some people love chess or Halo or Football. It is a test of my abilities against other people’s abilities. I don’t play against the house. I don’t play for the gamble. Luck is a part of the game, but not my part.
I bring this up because my blog is meant to make you a better player and offer entertaining diversions to those interested in cards. It is not meant to encourage compulsive gamblers. If luck is your part of the game, if the thrill of risk is what you are paying for with your chips, all I ask is that you make sure you can afford it. Know when to quit.
Posted in: Poker Life Lessons
Tags: poker, quit
December 18th, 2008 / No Comments » / by Grundy
Poker is a game of risk and reward. Using this definition I could argue that free poker isn’t really poker at all. In fact, I do argue “play money” internet poker isn’t. Freerolls are a step away in that they offer some small monetary reward and you risk wasting your time completely rather than slightly. Playing in a “poker league” hosted by your local bar is yet closer to real gambling in that you now risk your time, gas for travel, and some sliver of dignity.
Locally, I have a few options for poker leagues: Full House Poker, Any Two Cards, the Georgia Poker Club, and the Atlanta Poker Club. If you would like a formal review post of each, let me know. As I am unsure of the international popularity of these leagues, I am holding off.
Leagues are usually well organized and have a weekly following of regulars. They are free to play and charge the venue for bringing in customers. My issue with using leagues as an avenue to improve your game comes from their alternate revenue streams.
- Players can buy more chips by purchasing food or drink from the bar. For example, a league may offer an additional 500 chip for every $10 spent.
- Players may have the option of buying premium league memberships for $100 or $200 for the year which ensures a certain chip up nightly.
- Players who volunteer to deal the table can receive a chip payment.
- Players who refer newcomers to the game can be rewarded with a chip up.
In short, if you show up to play in one of these leagues and don’t expect to spend anything, expect to be at a major chip disadvantage.
At first this bothered my sense of fair play, but it only brings the game closer to real poker. More at risk and, assuming the league uses some money to offer better prizes, more reward. I don’t blame anyone for a fair business model. However, it is important to know what you are getting into. Once you start playing “free” poker every night you may find yourself out of a lot of money. That is money you could have used playing real poker, and even if you lose, it is a better gauge of your skill level. Have fun at the bars, but when you start to get serious about your game, risk for the real rewards.
Posted in: Poker Life Lessons
Tags: atlanta poker club, poker leagues
December 13th, 2008 / 1 Comment » / by Grundy
Like a good nickname, a card guard can add a little character to your Poker Personality. A fine example of this is Greg Raymer’s fossil, which covered both bases as his name became “Fossilman.”
To be fair, the main purpose of card guards is to, um, guard your cards. Decorative chips are a familiar option. I have a couple of those that I have either bought or won over the years. I have also been known to employ a bouncy ball at the tables. I like them for three reasons. Firstly, they are cheap so if I feel so inclined I can throw it in the pot without real fear of losing it. Secondly, they are cheap so I can chuck it across the room after a bad beat without real fear of losing it. And thirdly, they are colorful.
But this isn’t about me, it’s about you. If you already use a unique card card, let me know in the comments; but if you don’t, I have a good place to get one–your local pet store.
Whaaa? Yes, Pets Mart…or is it Pet Smart…has a fine selection of card guards in their aquarium section. I’m talking about those under sea lawn ornaments that the fish poop on. Think about it. The gruff pirate, the glaring octopus, the “card” shark all fit perfectly with poker’s aquatic metaphors. Ever hear about the fish who caught the full boat on the river? Plus some of those miniatures are downright intimidating!
You’re welcome.
Posted in: Uncategorized
Tags: card guard, poker
December 9th, 2008 / 1 Comment » / by Bizarro Grundy
Sorry for the post slow-down from my worse half, Grundy, but I’m back to pick up the slack! Back from where you ask? Well, I served some time for cat-burglary, which apparently is illegal in some states. (Looking at you, Virginia.) I’ve been playing the best poker of my life from the inside and think it is time to spread the wealth with my priceless (free in this case) tips.
Poker is a game of anatomy. The best hand will keep you from defeat! There are many possibilities for strong hands: a full house, four of a kind, the coveted straight flush. However, just because a hand is rare, doesn’t make it a winner. Let me tell you about a little hand I like to call a full canoe!
Three-pair, ladies and degenerates, I have deemed the full canoe. I have prepared a mathematical proof for the explain its power.
A pair such as 88, can be trumped by two pair such as 4477, that much we know. It stands to reason that three pair beats both. Lets take this proof a step farther. A full house beats two pair because a full house uses five cards while the two pair uses only four. See where I’m going with this? Three pair uses six! Extending my theorem the full canoe beats everything but a seven card straight, flush or straight flush.
Readers, we do NOT live in a fair and just world. I have used this master hand in practise and have been met with much poker bigotry. “It’s the best FIVE card hand” they say. “Where did you learn to play poker?” they ask. “Come back here!” they demand as I’m running to the door with the kitty. Don’t worry, the next day I usually give them back said cat in exchange for cash.
Anywho, nevermind the critics! Play your full canoes! Get either a good lawyer or better getaway driver! And shuffle up and deal!
Posted in: Bizarro Grundy!
Tags: bizarro, full canoe, opposite
December 6th, 2008 / 1 Comment » / by Grundy
As you may have gathered from previous posts, Twitter is my new favorite social networking/micro-blogging site. If you haven’t checked it out, check it out. Give it a little time as you will need to follow and be followed by some peeps to get anything out of it. By all means follow me @Grundy and I’ll followback.
I’ve met some poker buddies on Twitter and thought it would be fun get a weekly game started. Well, two said buddies (@pokerplasm and @cprpoker) took the proverbial ball and bounced with it. Enter: the Twitter Poker Tour!
The TPT is a weekly on-line game open to any Twitter users. It alternates between the poker sites Fulltilt and Poker Stars…you may have heard of them. The buy-in is $5 and a bounty is usually in place. We play Thursday nights.
For more information check out the official site. The game this coming Thursday is at Fulltilt!
Posted in: Uncategorized
Tags: twitter, twitter poker tour
November 28th, 2008 / No Comments » / by Grundy
Twas’ a year ago that I began my textual journey into the underbelly of the game we call poker. Thank you all for reading and joining in on the conversation. I have met a lot of funny, talented and insightful poker people along the way. You know who you are.
As part of my anniversary celebration, I have made a couple changes (improvements?) to the blog.
- Firstly, we are now iPhone compatible. We took a stab at mobile blogging in the past and previous methods should still work, but now it is easier than ever. Just send your mobile browser to our normal address and you will be redirected to a slick HCD Mobile site. All content and comments will be intact.
- Secondly, the HCD store is now up and running. If you like my site, please support us by buying one of our new t-shirts or sticker sets. More HCD apparel will be featured soon.
Thanks again everyone! Here’s to another year!
Posted in: Uncategorized
Tags: anniversary, poker
November 19th, 2008 / 1 Comment » / by Grundy
For those of you that want acting to be your source of income, I recommend Hollywood. At the table I forgo deceptive acting for a good poker face. I know two things. One, I’m not that great of an actor; and two, people overestimate their acting prowess. In other words, you are not as good as you think you are and I’m even worse then my poor estimation.
That said, there is one time that I do recommend pushing your table image with a little theater–after a lost pot, especially when a bad beat is involved.
There you are processing your loss. You have the strength of will to accept it and move on. That is awesome, you are a good poker player, but lets not let an opportunity pass you by. Say your next hand is strong–a pocket pair or big slick. Bet big like you are on tilt, because the table expects you to be on tilt. Act like you are throwing caution to the wind with a touch of “poor me.” You will likely get a call from a sub-par hand and be in position to take them for a ride to the river if in fact you are confident that you still hold the winning hand.
For me, this act means even more. After a bad beat, I am on tilt. It’s only natural. I’m not full tilt, but I am still stewing. After all, the poker gods have forsaken me. When I act as though I am further along the road to tiltsville than I am, I usually right my course. I focus on the role that I’m playing rather than focusing on the last hand. By acting on tilt, I am no longer on tilt.
Give this strategy a try. In fact, make it a point to play the next hand after a bad beat as long as the position advantage is on your side. The state of your image may well earn you better implied odds when the betting starts.
Warning: If you are the type to easily go full tilt, do not try this. The acting will only be fooling yourself.
Posted in: Poker Life Lessons
Tags: acting, poker, tilt
